Your Guide

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Nancy Shanteau

Nancy Shanteau (she/her) is the lineage bearer for Skills for Change Coaching. She is a Master Somatic Coach and the founder of the Folkloom School, the home of the Skills for Change Coaching Certification Program. A settler who lives and works in Nevada County, CA, unceded Nisenan land, Nancy practices Relationship Anarchy and Solo Polyamory, identifies as pansexual and aromantic, and is a white multi-ethnic, non-binary woman. Dedicated to radical, empowering education, Nancy has been teaching and coaching since 2004. “I believe people need safety and a feeling of connection and love in order to change. In a good teaching relationship, the teacher becomes engaged in your dream, and provides support, strength and vision to help you achieve it.”

Questions? Comments? Email me!

About this course

Achieve Communication Confidence & Clarity

Speak Your Truth with Vulnerability & Compassion

I don’t know about you, but… I want to live in a world where our efforts to communicate create connection and feelings of being loved, heard and understood. I want us to feel confident when we speak our truth, and I want others to feel safe being vulnerable with us. I want our conversations to support us to successfully co-create our dreams in partnership and in community. I want our words to build trust, so that our conflicts help us grow stronger together. 

Do you feel frustrated when your attempts to communicate instead result in disconnection, heartbreak and isolation? 

So often, when we finally share our feelings, we have waited too long, and what we say often reflects our fear, anger and desperation more than our positive desires. When these patterns of hurt and fear turn into disagreements and arguments, often we end up speaking from our survival reflexes and beliefs, rather than from our vulnerability, life-affirming values and optimism for the future.

My biggest vision for all of us is to experience communication that helps us share our feelings, cooperate and grow so that we feel close, connected, and supported. We can learn to be accountable for our impact, repair successfully, and when necessary embody empowered boundaries.

Hi, I’m Nancy. Over the past 17+ years, I’ve coached and taught thousands of people to build loving, supportive and powerful relationships. Now I want to share with you the peacefulness that comes from knowing how to speak your truth and listen with compassion to other people's vulnerability.


Cooperative Communication Self-Paced Online Program Level 1

Inside this Self-Paced Online Program you’ll discover the Skills for Change Cooperative Communication tools and methods — to help you self regulate, express your vulnerability, build trust, shift from defensiveness to curiosity, and skillfully communicate beyond conflict.

Here's how we do that:

Step 1: In order to communicate successfully, we need to know when to talk and when to pause. We'll begin with tools to help you regulate emotions, center yourselves and de-sensitize anxiety. We'll identify when you've entered a flooded fight-flight-freeze-dissociate state, and help you make a recovery plan that restores your baseline resourceful state.

Step 2: We’ll explore how power affects transactions, and how to identify when cooperation is possible. You'll locate yourself in your wise adult consciousness so your communication is calm and effective.

Step 3: Our obstacles to cooperation often lie in our internalized oppressive beliefs. You'll learn to shift from defensiveness to curiosity.

Step 4: Compassionate listening starts with ourselves. You'll learn to forgive yourself, embody empowered boundaries, let go when needed and negotiate cooperative agreements.

Your learning experience will be supported with a weekly interactive Q&A and practice session, videos, and Action Learning Steps. 

The book Access to Power, A Radical Approach for Changing Your Life will support your understanding throughout the course and can be purchased at

I'm a very responsive and flexible teacher. I use these communication tools in my own life. I know what works and what doesn't, and I want to share with you the peacefulness that comes from knowing how to speak your truth and listen with compassion to other people's vulnerability.

Enroll because you love it ----> here.

Each week, I'll release the videos for the current modules. The weekly videos will lead to Action Learning Steps that support your practice and embodiment of the materials. For example in the first module, we’ll learn methods for de-sensitizing anxiety, centering and self regulation.

Module 1) Introduction to Cooperative Communication


  • What is Self Regulation and how do we achieve it?
  • The simple step-by-step "Clearing Held Feelings & Stories" Process.
  • How to use Observable Facts to create connection instead of separation in conversation.
  • De-sensitize your anxiety with these simple techniques.

Module 2) Empowered Transactions


  • Why the cultivation of  Wise Adult Consciousness is crucial to understanding how power affects our communication. 
  • How sharing your Story-Free Feelings helps other people understand you better.

Module 3) The Stories We Tell:


  • What you care about holds the key to dismantling your internalized oppressive beliefs.  
  • Jumping the trip wire: how self-centric stories get in the way of mutual understanding.

Module 4) Big Picture Stories:


  • Compassionate listening emerges from our ability to forgive ourselves.
  • Who, What, Where, When -- how the underlying social and cultural context changes everything.
  • Shift the focus from winning to connecting: unlock the power of validation & nurturance.

Module 5) Ask for 100% of What You Want: 


  • Build self trust by sharing your vulnerability.
  • Speak your truth with confidence & clarity.
  • Listen to others so they feel heard & understood.
  • Reflect back what you heard and increase mutual trust.

Module 6) Negotiate Cooperative Agreements: 

  • Imagine alternatives to compromise including space, breaks, and additional resources.
  • Stop "competing to not lose." Co-create autonomous and cooperative options.
  • Your yes & no are the foundation of successful cooperation.

Go through the learning at your own pace. Choose the best way for you to engage with the materials. There are videos, audio, Action Learning Steps, and I even invite you to find a Committed Listener so you have a partner to practice with!

Click here if you know you want to enroll. (You know you want to!)

"Nancy has been one of the most significant mentors of my life. Her ability to inspire you to stand in your power and teach complex concepts is phenomenal..." Torin Lee, Skills for Change Coach and Communications Consultant

Price:  $97

*Equity Access Pricing Available Upon Request.

If you're ready to begin, swing into Cooperative Communication here.

Or, if you'd like to discuss it further with our team, sign up for an Empowerment Session to determine if the Cooperative Communication Self-Paced Online Program Level 1 is the right choice for you. 

I'm excited to get to know you. It'll be fun, and super score(!), you'll bring Cooperative Communication tools to your conversations at home, work and in your community.

Let's do this!